I was right, they were wrong

On trusting my intuition and walking my own path

Photo by Chibili Mugala

Black Women Get to Be, the newsletter and podcast, was created by Qubilah Huddleston is driven by connection and community. If you’re new here, subscribe (free or paid), like this post, share it with a friend or two, and leave a comment below while you’re at it. I’d love to hear from you.

This essay is part of Sentiments, a collection of relatable personal stories and self-care reminders.

Can I be real with y’all for a second? The more I lean into creating the things that I want to create, the more I realize just how wrong some folks have been. How wrong their opinions were. How wrong their beliefs were. About me, about my strengths, about what I have to offer the world.

I don’t think those folks had any ill-will or bad intentions, but they simply were not nor are they the authority over who, what, and how I should show up in the world. I’ve come to realize that in seeking too much guidance, advice, and “expertise,” I’ve allowed other people’s imaginations to run wild, while quieting and second-guessing my own.

But, in the words of Dakota Fanning in Uptown Girls…

Take a look around. Do you see her (the version of me that allowed people to influence my choices too much) anywhere? Newsflash, you’re not gonna!

I felt compelled to write about this revelation because I truly feel the mental and emotional shift I’ve been waiting for. The moment where I deeply trust my gut, chart my own path, march to the beat of my own drum is here. And there’s no turning back. And I love that for me.

And please don’t interpret this essay as me saying that I don’t value other people’s opinions at all or don’t need or want mentorship. It’s just that I’m no longer waiting for permission or approval from someone else to create what I want to create. I don’t really care what “the market” needs or anything like that. I/you/we don’t simply exist to create things for the sake of them being consumed or going viral. I’m creating things that light me up and resonate with the people who are on similar journeys. That’s it. I’m not trying to scale this or funnel that. The success that’s for me will be created by and enjoyed by me. It’s really that simple.

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me basking in the sun, knowing my path is my path

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