Stop chasing your purpose, start chasing your dreams
Contrary to popular believe, following your purpose may be leading you to a dead end.
Black Women Get to Be, the newsletter and podcast, was created by Qubilah Huddleston is driven by connection and community. If you’re new here, subscribe (free or paid), like this post, share it with a friend or two, and leave a comment below while you’re at it. I’d love to hear from you.
I remember when I first heard
, an expert in teaching Black women how to take sabbaticals from or quit toxic 9-5s and live abroad, say these 9 words in a YouTube short:“I don’t care about your purpose. Live your dreams.”
She goes on to say “If you have a higher purpose in life, okay… but how your dreams doing?” In less than 60 seconds, she conveyed this visceral feeling that had been forming deep in my bones: I am tired of living a life shaped by my “life’s purpose.” I want to live a life that is designed based on my wildest dreams.
In high school and college, we are encouraged to take this and that personality test primarily to see what types of jobs or careers would suit us best. This process embeds this false notion, fueled by capitalist propaganda, that our main job in life, is to well, have a job. That anything we do post-schooling should center around laboring to benefit someone other than ourselves. That the innate and nurtured strengths and skills we develop from birth to young adulthood, aren’t ours to keep. They are instead things we use to prove to a potential employer that we’re the “best” candidate.
As I prepared to write this, I came across countless business/career advice articles saying to “chase your purpose, not your passion.” The writers’ arguments generally follow this line of logic: passion is fleeting, purpose is more about what we feel we were put on this earth to accomplish, so we’ll stick with what we feel called to do longer.
And that is exactly the problem Stephanie lays out with Black women being told to follow their purpose. I know so many Black women who are enduring so much toxicity and foolishness, staying in jobs or careers that they are not fulfilled in, taking on extra roles and responsibilities all in the name of “purpose.” It’s truly frightening how many of us are carrying loads that don’t belong to us, again all in the name of doing whatever we believe we were put on this earth to do.
I’ll use myself as an example: I’m an education policy wonk by trade. I care deeply about solving systems-level inequities (racism, poverty, sexism, homophobia, etc.) through systemic (i.e. policy) change. I have a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree in closely related fields. I’m involved in multiple education-related volunteer groups, one of which I recently held a leadership position. I am highly sought after and valued for my expertise, people tell me how I’m just so good at what I do and how the field “needs” me. Yaddi yaddi yah.
I’ve internalized much of that over the years, still pursuing jobs that align with my “purpose.” But is living out my heart’s desires, my biggest, wildest, boldest dreams not my purpose? Why is my purpose about the work I can produce in the name of some cause (even if it’s worthy)? Why is finally living out my dreams something that comes after decades of labor?
If you haven’t yet read Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Trisha Hersey, Nap Bishop and Founder of The Nap Ministry, I highly recommend you do so. She talks about how these systems are designed to limit our capacity to dream. And many of us don’t even have good models of what it looks like to dream for real for real, so we may not even know how to if we wanted to.
What Stephanie Perry and Tricia Hersey both preach in their own ways is this:
Black women deserve to dream, not just to survive.
We deserve to build lives around the things that light us up. And yet, so many of us find ourselves locked into a cycle of doing, producing, giving, and overextending—for jobs, families, communities, and even for movements we care about deeply.
Let me be clear: having a purpose isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful to care about your community, to feel connected to something bigger than yourself, and to want to make the world better. But somewhere along the way, too many of us confuse purpose with overwork. We pour from an empty cup, believing the lie that our worth is tied to how much we can give. And while we’re so busy serving everyone else, our dreams sit quietly in the corner, waiting for us to remember them.
What if you gave yourself permission to dream again? Not the practical dreams that fit neatly into a five-year plan or a career strategy, but the big, wild, audacious ones that spark an endless stream of joy?
What if you stopped asking, What can I do for others? and started asking, What do I truly want for myself?
For me, that shift has been life-changing. It’s meant saying no to things that drain me, even if they align with my so-called purpose. It’s meant carving out time to explore hobbies and passions that bring me joy, even if they don’t “serve” anyone else.
Your joy and dreams matter, sis.
The world doesn’t just need you to show up as a high-performing employee—it needs you to show up as your full, vibrant, unapologetic self.
So, in the words of Stephanie Perry I’ll ask you again: How are your dreams doing? Have you given yourself the space to imagine what your life could look like if you stopped chasing purpose and started chasing the things that make you smile? If your answer is “no,” here’s your sign to start nurturing your dreams.
More inspiration to start prioritizing your dreams today
Why Black Girl Magic is dead (from yours truly ☺️)
You don’t owe anyone your labor (from
)You deserve good things and to live life on your terms (from
Alecia Renece 🌻)
Ways you can support me and stay up to date
Abrazos y besos* for reading my work! It’s dope to know that people are interested in what I have to say. I am self-care and personal growth strategist who helps Black women who do too much, do less. I envision a world in which Black women trade in their superhero or magician capes for radical self-care, rest, and joy. I come in love and grace, and as always take what you need, leave what you don’t.
* Means “hugs and kisses” in Spanish.
So good!! I definitely felt this and needed this message 💕
This hit home so hard, sis! I’m good at many things but my passion is what I’m going after and reading this gave me even more fuel to push forward. Thank you!!!